


Total Eclipse of the Sun

by the_technicolor_whiscash



Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: Solar eclipse viewing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 10:37:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11872572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_technicolor_whiscash/pseuds/the_technicolor_whiscash
Summary: Jonah expected to watch the solar eclipse from earth. Things didn't go as planned.





	Total Eclipse of the Sun

**Author's Note:**

> My first mst3k fic!

August 21st, 2017. A day known throughout most of the world as the day in which the moon would eclipse the sun, casting a shadow across a long stretch of North America. Jonah had planned for a long time to drive down somewhere that he could watch the complete eclipse, recording all of it on a special camera. But that was before he became trapped. Trapped on a satellite attached to the moon. Not the best place to view an eclipse. 

On that important scientific occasion, Jonah got up at noon and checked his various social media accounts. Of course, there were many people posting memes for the eclipse. Some people he knew were actually seeing the totality, and were livetweeting the entire event. But he realized after a short time that continuing to look at everyone's posts about the eclipse would only be adding insult to injury. And so he headed for the bridge. 

Crow and Servo were already there, and they probably had been for a while. They appeared to be fighting with sticks. Crow was winning, given his significantly longer arms, but Tom was not one to give up. As Jonah walked into the room, they immediately dropped the sticks and looked around like they hadn't been doing anything. 

“Good morning, Jonah!” Tom said nonchalantly. “Sleep well?”

“Not really. What were you two doing?”

“Nothing.” They muttered. Which meant of course they had been doing something. 

“What were you two fighting about this time?”

“Crow stole my chainsaw, and I wanted it back.”

Crow looked offended, or as offended as a robot could look. “I did not! Besides, what do you even use it for?”

“I use it to make sculptures to hang my underwear collection on. You know that.” 

Jonah sighed. “Crow, give Tom back his chainsaw. And Tom, why do you have an underwear collection?”

“Because I like it, that's why. Most of it is just stuff I bought whenever we would steal Mike’s credit card.” He looked over to Crow. “Remember those times? When we would just buy random things that got shipped to the Satellite?”

Crow nodded. “And Mike never had any idea how we kept stealing his wallet, even though he literally always kept it in the same jumpsuit pocket.” 

Jonah shook his head. “Sometimes I can't believe the things you guys have done.” 

“Well, you'd better believe it Jonah.” Tom smirked. “Because someday, we’re going to find your credit card, and I'm going to buy more underpants.”

“Fantastic. Oh, the Mads are calling.”

He hit the button, and Kinga and Max appeared on the viewscreen. Kinga looked the same as usual, but Max was decked out in a shirt that said “ECLIPSE 2017” and had a pair of eclipse glasses atop his head. 

“Hello, Jonah.” Kinga said in her usual bitter tone. “No movie today, because Max and I are headed for earth to watch the eclipse.” 

“I suppose I shouldn't even bother asking if I can come with you.” 

“Nope! Truth be told, the only reason why I'm even bringing Max is because he agreed to supply me with eclipse glasses.” 

Max smiled. “Yep! I've got a bunch of these things that I bought online.”

“Uh, maybe take a look at those, because some of the ones being sold online are fake, and won't protect your eyes at all.” Jonah said. 

Kinga glared at Max, until he backed away offscreen. Then, she looked back at Jonah. “Well, so much for him. Later!” 

The screen turned to black, and Jonah was once again reminded at just how exiled he was on this spaceship. He leaned his elbows on the console, put his head into his hands, and gave a loud groan. 

“Jeez, what’s wrong with you?” Crow asked. 

“I've been looking foreword to this eclipse for years, and then, when it happens, I’m stuck on this damn spaceship!” He moved his arms, allowing him to mash his face directly into the console. “Why did this have to happen.” 

“Well, think of it this way, the next one’s going to be in 2024, which isn't too far away.”

“What if something happens? What if I die, and I die without seeing an eclipse? What if I go blind?” 

Tom scoffed. “Oh come on. The chances of that happening are slim to none.” 

“Kinga threatens to kill me constantly.”

A pause. “Yeah, but that doesn't mean she's actually going to.”

Jonah groaned again. “Plus, I had planned on seeing this one. I was going to use it to collect scientific data, and I was going to livestream it online.”

“Since Kinga isn't sending us a movie, you can at least watch it on tv.” Crow said. “I heard the weather channel is going to be covering it all day.”

Suddenly, a thought popped into Jonah’s head. “Wait a second. We’re in space. That gives us a unique perspective… Cambot! Give me rocket number nine, and point it at the earth!”

The viewscreen lit up, and Jonah gasped. The image was… beautiful. An enormous shadow hid part of the earth, caused by the moon. 

“Wow…” Tom said, his voice trailing off. 

“So that's what it looks like. I had always wondered.” Jonah mused. “Cambot, take a picture of this and save it to my computer. G, come take a look at this.” 

G descended from the ceiling. “Woah, that's awesome.” 

“You definitely don't see that view from earth.” 

For a moment, they were all speechless. The shadow of the moon on the earth was massive, and it crawled along the US slowly for them, but it would have looked much faster on the earth. 

“I should stream this.” Jonah murmured. “Cambot, can we livestream this?”

Cambot nodded. For a little robot who didn't speak and was basically just a camera, they were amazingly versatile. 

“Thanks.” 

After another few minutes, Crow coughed. “Well, I've got things to do. Yell if anything happens.” 

Tom nodded. “Right. I've gotta deal with my chainsaw. Have fun, Jonah.”

Jonah continued to watch the shadow of the moon on the earth. “I guess sometimes being on this Satellite isn't so bad after all.”

**Author's Note:**

> Damnit I wanted to add an image to it but it was taking too long to load so I gave up  
> Here's the link to it anyway it's cool: https://goo.gl/images/fShCA3


End file.
